I had myself a fit last night. Not just a puny pity party of woe is me. But a dad-gum throwing guitars, cell phone,knocking over chairs and speakers, swinging from the light fixtures, screaming, pulling my hair out regulation fit. I even spilled a bottle of wine on the counter...what a mess. Thank goodness nobody was at home. Now I don't have these often. It seems about once every five to six years. And it's mostly about a yearning for perfection in something I don't even do. Odd thing is the closer this thing gets to perfection the worse it gets. The further from perfection it strikes me as unbearable. But when it's right it's oh so good and the world could not do with out it. No,no I'm not talking about sex. However ? No forget it. Silly thing about having a depressive fit is you can't just have it about one thing and leave it alone. No, you got to drag up all kinda what ifs to go along with what ever started you out. And one stream of thought leads to fifteen more “dang I wish I had a done it this way or said it that way” I finished up with my fit and crawled to bed with the house destroyed. Maybe around 10 or 10:30. Heres the kicker. God is in on everything. I believe he is in on a good fit as well as the look in a new born babies eyes. 11:30 I'm up. Already with the worst hangover I can recall. Two o'clock I'm just finishing up putting everything back in place. A miracle nothing was broken, just the dark stain on the counter that looks like maybe I chopped somebody's arm off. From two until about five o'clock I set in papa's chair and listened. God works in our lives in the most unusual ways. While we are having fits and cleaning up he is doing significant things in the lives of others that affect us. He works in his ways not ours. He brings peace in the midst of some of the worse fits, hangovers and clean up projects. I'm gona wait at least six years before I have another one of these duesies, I'm thinking.

There is a little bird in the back yard. No, wait, he maybe the biggest bird I ever seen. He only has one leg. One wing doesn't work so good but he can fly fairly good. Every time he lands some where the other bird chase him off. Now he stays kinda close to me cause they don't bother him there. After all the birds have ate he flops around on the ground to find their left overs. When he tries to drink from the bird bath he usually falls in a couple times. But this guy is surviving. He's making a point of making do and doesn't seem to mind at all. I think I got a new bud. A new roll model. Ha, well ya never know.

I felt the need to post this, this morning.  Felt the need to read it over several times. 

Galatians 5:19-24

The Message (MSG)

^19-21 It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on.

This isn’t the first time I have warned you, you know. If you use your freedom this way, you will not inherit God’s kingdom.
^22-23 But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

yep, God answers prayers.  But you never know how.  You just got to wait and watch.

I think life would be so much simpler and loving with more of God and less of us.  Something I have got to get back into.

sunrise over state park

boats and nets